Class reaction - April 12, 2010

Dont exsactly remember what went on in class this day as to its been a busy last month of school and it was a while ago. But one thing is forsure is that we are almost done with school and although I have had my doubts and problems with this class initially I definitely enjoyed it. I know ill always remember the class with the different professor that preach its OK to be different, and sometimes that different can open up a whole new world too someone.

I say seeing, do you say looking?

The difference between the two has a lot to do with how you interpret them. When I look at my book I see actual art, a lot of it is different and strange and in some minds might not even be considered art. But it is all art is some form. Then when I think about our class I see it as more of a application of seeing sideways in life rather than art. But the twist is that even though they are different neither could exist without the other.

If you didn't have people seeing sideways you wouldn't get the sideways art that we know. But without the subliminal art in nature and what we have created as a society you wouldn't have anything to inspire someone to think sideways about it. I don't know I see it as a chicken or the egg kind of thing.

This Is Who They Think I Am

The two subjects I picked to tell me about myself were two roommates of mine. One roommate is a friend that I have had since the third grade. I've lived with this one roommate for about a year now, so I believe he is one of the people that knows me best. His name is Nick. The other roommate I picked is a new guy. He is orginally from up in northern indiana and has only moved down here within the last couple of months. The way I got to know him is that he was sleeping on a couch at his buddies house, thats in my home town, when he orginally moved here. Me and acouple of buddies met him at the local pub one night about a month ago and have just been kickin it since. He ended up leaving his buddies house to come stay on our couch at my place. He's been here acouple of weeks now and I think he is still a stranger enough to say he doesnt really know me. But good enough that he has some sort of opinion about me. His name is Odie

Nick (Man of Few Words)

"First thing I think of you is chewbacca only becuz you said that yourself. But after that your a cool ass due. Organized and have all top shelf shit. Always down to have a good time and also a good friend."

Odie (New Guy)

"I have known Ryan for about two weeks and half weeks now. Ryan is pretty laid back and a fun person to hang around with. He is actually a good friend and will try to help you if he can. Also he is always up beat and ready to have a good time whenever he can. Ryan treats you with the same respect that you give him. He also is a very hard worker and cherishes all his belongings that he worked hard to achieve. Therefore Ryan Taylor is a pretty laid back guy, who is also a good Friend."

This Is Who I Think I Am

Since I was about 13, I planned on being a mechanical engineer. I wanted to take this degree and parley it into a career in the open-wheel racing, designing the parts that were to be used to in the cars. Growing up this made perfect sense, I even had a insider, that is very well renowned and respected, that could get me into the industry. So this is what I planned the majority of my life.

Then came college. My first year of college I attend the University of Southern Indiana. I enrolled in classes that would get me to my dream. But something went wrong. I had this mentality that I could just approach college as a did high school and that I needed to make my freshmen year something that of animal house. Well, I did just that and had a great adventure, but it didn't provide me much time to get my school work done. I ended up failing most of my classes that I took my first semester. After seeing my grades I began to question if I was cut out for college. A lot of my dropped out around me. With all of this emotion I had for failing school, my parents, and myself, I really considered dropping out. Day in and day out question myself and what I was worth. As well as what the hell was I going to do with my life. I had always planned on going to college. Maybe with the chance of not being a mechanical engineer but at least something

When the second semester ended and everyone went home for winter, I began to ask myself what caused me to do so bad in school. I quickly pinpointed the problem and said to myself that the next time I will control myself and dedicate a lot more time to school. I returned to school for the second semester. Many of my friends that had left with me did not return. In realizing this I saw this as a my chance to get back on track. I still had a few close friends come back, all with similar experience as me from the first semester. We kinda made a pact when we all got back, to do better and to help each other out.

Being in the first year, my friends and I, had a lot of the same classes together. So we figured that the best approach to doing better in school was to peer pressure each other into coming to the study groups were beginning to form. We later realized that although these study groups were cutting into are partying time, we were all still having a lot of fun with all of us there. We all ended up doing really well when the second semester ended. Making at least me, know that I belong here and that I could do it.

During that first year at college, I realized, more than I had ever before, who I was and what I was capable of. I realized that, one, I could no longer be the student that just scrapes by. I learned alot about the things that I want out of life, or at least a couple of them. One of them is that a college degree, not becuase it should make me more money or becuase it puts me on a different level than anyone else. But becuase I want to be holding that diploma in my hand to be able to tell myself that it wasn't so bad and that I did it. I did it, god I cant wait for that moment. Another thing that I realized, which maybe be the most important realization of my life is that. I know there is a plan for me. Something I know that is going to be great, possibly world changing.

Maybe I sound like everyone else out there with a dream or maybe not. But so what, at least we have a dream, unlike a lot of people that gave up on themselves and the world a long time ago. The difference between these people that are mad at the world, or just have an dream but no ambition to go get it and me is simple. I know that I want something, not sure exsactly what but a ruff outline, and that with my mind and my two hands I have all the tools I need to get everywhere and no where in life. All I have to do is, do.

I'm not sure if I have conveyed everything that is going though my head while I write this. I'm not sure if I sounded like I read off of a self help book. And I'm not sure what I am supposed to do in life. But I don't care, I know what I was trying to say and I know what I said was true. In my eyes, I am an entirely different person than what I expected growing up or when I was a freshmen at the University of Southern Indiana. Instead of engineering, I am now currently persueing a double major in business and planning on law school. This being something that never once entered my head growing up. Although this path I have chosen to fallow in my academic career sounds like what I am meant for, it still may not be final, as I have learned nothing is. But, the great thing is that I am ok with it all and that I can now embrace uncertainty, at least a couple aspects of it, with a smile and a push out of the way.

I no longer lose sleep thinking about the future and what I am going to do with my life. I have become more and more the person that I really want to be a happy one, someone that can look at their life and be content, no mater if they make a lot of money or get to travel the world. This being contrary to all that I knew and had been told all my life, that I need to do this specific thing or else my whole life will just be shambles. In the end I know that as long as the way I approach life and the way I live it is alright by me, that I am where I always wished I wanted to be.

F.E.A.R - Result

I conducted my experiment last week and came up with some interesting results. My experiment was to actually accept this class for what it is and to embrace that and run with it. I am a business student that doesn't get much of a chance to delve into my creative side. Normally my classes are pretty straight forward. I read the chapters, come in and review the chapters, then take a test. Pretty simple. This class though has been a challenge for me though. When I come into the class I don't know what to expect or what we are going to do in class. This uncertainty makes me feel fearful of the unknown.

The reaction of my experiment was what I expected. When I was called on in class I hesitated because I wasn't sure how I was going to present the idea. Everyone had visual aids for everyone to look at and I didn't really have anything like that. But when I was called on, I did say that I was conducting my experiment at that moment. I kinda got laughed at for this which was alright but kind of killed my mode for this project, since the point of it was to let go and accept the class.

My hypothesis was correct. I knew that people wouldn't really notice due of the nature of the experiment. The interesting part about it is that I didn't think about what would be noticed from the lack of an apparent project. This I think although not a an expected reaction, was what I really wanted. When I told the class about my experiment I was laughed at quickly overlooked. At the time I was a little mad, because I was about to go more into the details of the project before I was cut off. Later, I began to think about why and how this reaction could pertain to what I was looking for. Maybe what I was looking for is that the abstract idea I came up with and semi presented to the class was alright even though it got a couple of chuckles.

When I came up with this idea for this project it was off the top of my head and didn't give all the thought about what all was going to go into it. If I were to conduct this experiment again I would change a few things about how I go about it. One thing, is that I would think way more into what I was sure that I wanted to come out of it. I think the reason for the misunderstanding in class was because I wasn't even sure what I was doing, although I thought I did.

F.E.A.R - Expected Outcome

Really I doubt anyone will really notice my experiment. This is because the fear that this experiment is addressing is something that can be very easily overlooked. Yet this absence of a reaction may be just what I am looking for. If someone does notice my anticipated reaction is that of confusion and leaving the class with the impression that I am mentally crazy...

Response to Class 3/8/10

Great Class, I dont think I have ever laughed so much in a college course. I really like going outside I think we should do it more. And just fyi that F.E.A.R video clip is from the intro video to a video game called "F.E.A.R"...Great game